On a lot of instances, with the arrival of adolescence mothers and a lot of fathers are inclined to take it easy the manage about their small children for the reason that they think about that this is no extended as essential as when they ended up young. On the other hand, like passion, the institution of boundaries proceeds to be extremely critical all through adolescence, and when these are lacking, it is most likely that boys and women truly feel disoriented and think that their dad and mom are no for a longer period intrigued in them. On the other hand, the absence of manage, standards and limitations, is intently linked to the emergence of some conduct difficulties this sort of as anti-social and legal behavior or the abusive use of drugs and alcohol. Right here are some strategies on procedures and boundaries.
1. The restrictions must be very clear, reasoned and justified
It is very vital that we impose not authoritatively the boundaries and norms that regulate family everyday living and the conduct of our little ones, both of those at dwelling and exterior. You should discuss to them, know their point of watch, explain the motives for a particular rule, and adjust it when we are certain that it is unfair. Involving small children in the selection-earning with regards to the limitations does not signify to surrender parental authority, but it will be a way to acknowledge that they are developing and maturing, and that they have the appropriate to take part in selections that have an effect on them.
2. We have to be flexible
You have to change the regulations and limitations to the wants and abilities of your young children as they are turning out to be older. The limits needed for a kid and a 10-calendar year-old woman must not be the identical as for a boy of 13, and much less even now if you have a 15 year old son or daughter. Excessive regulate is as lousy as its absence, so we should steadily give them additional flexibility to act and make decisions.
3. We have to be coherent and regular in phrases of the limitations
Sometimes we truly feel confused or tired and we enable some behavior in our youngsters that, at one more time, we do not tolerate. But it is significant that we maintain standards and boundaries, and sanctions in opposition to non-compliance, regardless of our condition of mind. It is also critical that there is an agreement involving the moms and dads when it comes to setting limits and punishments. While often we are not in accordance with our associate, we need to take care of our distinctions in non-public and clearly show the very same impression to our small children.
4. If requirements are not achieved, punish
To begin with, it is suited to remain calm and not react in an emotional way. Then we need to calmly pay attention to the justification presented by our kids. Lastly, there will be situations in which it will be easy to punish his conduct. It is significant that the children recognize that it is their behavior which is acquiring rejected and not them. Nevertheless, there could be alternatives to punishment, and clearly show them how upset we are about their actions or deficiency of assurance that we have towards them. Yet another probability is not to punish them and make them expertise the implications of their blunders.